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In order to be successful during a negotiation, what skills are really required? One skill that is all too often overlooked in my opinion is bravery. I like to define bravery as the willingness to try something that just might fail. If you are willing to take this leap of faith, sometime you can rescue a negotiation that seemed like it was doomed to failure. Just exactly how a negotiator can become brave is something that I believe that we need to talk about…

It’s Time To Take Risks

As a negotiator, you need to set goals for each negotiation that you enter into. There are many different types of goals that you can set, but the best ones are those that are so called “stretch goals” – just a little bit out of your reach. Doing this can be quite scary for a negotiator.

By setting challenging goals for yourself, you must know that you are now running the risk of having your negotiation end up in a deadlock. Yes, I’m not going to tell you that this is not a real risk. However, I can assure you that the research that has been done on negotiations has shown that negotiators who are willing to set their goals higher almost always end up doing better.

Being Brave Means Being Willing To Spend Time

Although it often does not cost you anything to participate in a negotiation, there is a currency at play here. That currency is called time. In any negotiation, time is money and the more time that you spend on a negotiation, the more expensive that negotiation is going to be.

What you need to do is to make sure that you make enough of an investment into each negotiation that you participate in. Take the time to learn about the countermeasures that the other side will use, the negotiation styles and negotiating techniques that they will use, and their time limits. By doing this you’ll end up having a better grasp of their willingness to concede or compromise.

What All Of This Means For You

As negotiators, we all want the same thing out of our next principled negotiation: we want to reach a deal with the other side of the table that we can live with. In order to make that happen, more often than not we need to show some bravery during the negotiation. Knowing how to do this can be the secret to our success.

One simple way to boost our bravery during our next negotiation is to set our negotiation targets higher. These stretch goals do run the risk of creating a deadlock, but the payoff can make it all worthwhile. Another way to boost our bravery is to make sure that we spend the time that is required to reach a successful outcome. Finding out what motivates the other side of the table is the key to our being able to reach a successful deal.

Using these two techniques can boost our probability of success in our next negotiation. Take the time to study how you can apply them to your way of negotiation and you’ll be surprised at how successful you can become!

Sometimes it seems the more you do, you just can’t seem to get things accomplished. Whatever you do isn’t enough. It just feels like you are on a sinking ship, and there is nothing you can do about it.

Many people feel this way lately. You are not alone. And even when your life is going great, those around you are depressed. Your co-workers, significant other, your children, your friends, can quickly make you feel like them– down trodden.

We pick up these energies because in today’s world we are constantly plugged in. We are picking up signals of those suffering not only in our homes, but in other countries. Technology is delivering to us doom and gloom news through vibrant images even if we choose simply to open our email.

So how do you protect yourself?
You have to constantly ask yourself, “Is this my true feeling or am I picking up other people’s stuff?” In other words, you have to stay present. Be vigilant to your thoughts and feelings. However, this is not what many of us choose to do. We would rather cover them up with old habits, zone out in front of the television, or listen to the person on the phone telling us about their problem, because it’s worse than ours. That’s why tabloid news is so huge. Watching the suffering of others somehow seemingly lessens ours. However, these are not quick fixes like our mind tells us they are. They simply create more suffering.

Stay Awake!

So maybe you say, “It’s not that. I just don’t feel happy anymore. I can’t stay happy, especially with the state of the world. I wish things were like they use to be.”

First of all realize that happiness is not something you need to “get.” Your natural self is happy, whole, perfect and complete. What covers up this natural state is our thoughts. The apathy thoughts like, “It’s useless. It’s all so overwhelming.” These are the voices in our heads that keep us depressed and confused. So it’s important to stay present and be aware.

“So how do I deal with those thoughts? ”

You simply need to observe them without judgment or trying to change them. This is being Mindful. Mindfulness, which is being present, works like a laser to cut through and dissolve those thoughts that do not serve us.

Discriminate
When those thoughts come up that are anything but loving, know it’s the ego mind working overtime. The ego loves turmoil. It keeps you depressed, worried, and most of all in fear. So being aware, is a huge step toward your freedom.

Let go
Many people think if they let go of worry, the world will crash down on them. Not so. You are simply letting go of the thoughts and emotions about whatever you have to do in life. The complaints and resistance.

If you have to get up and go to a job you don’t like or want, let go of thinking, “I hate going to this job.” “I hate the people.” “I hate the traffic.” “I hate my life.” Discriminate, which is what Buddha called, Right Thinking. Is this the ego talking? You will know if it is because the ego always has non-loving thoughts. The great thing about being present, is awareness of these thoughts is enough to allow them to dissolve.

It’s the thoughts that keep us trapped.

First comes the thoughts, followed by emotions, and then often comes an illness from toxic emotions.

We all have to do things in life we would rather not do. But it may be necessary for our survival. So do these things without telling yourself a STORY about the things you must do in life. Release your inner power for more energy by being present and observe if you are telling yourself another story.

When you are aware, you can easily release those tiring thoughts. Suddenly, you will have more vitality. You will discover that you will complete more things in a faster time because you will be in the present moment. And, in each moment, you will find that there is happiness, your natural state.

Use your breath
Your breath is a natural de-stressor, Use your breath to deal with whatever you need to accomplish. Don’t try to control the breath, simply observe and give yourself a short mantra. It can be a spiritual verse or an affirmation, or you can label your breath, “Breathing in, I am calm. Breathing out I am balanced.”

When those overwhelming thoughts come up, be present with them. Refuse to be dragged into the “story.” This is not who you truly are.
You will find your true self, which is whole, perfect and complete when you stay present.

What will my six year old niece enjoy playing with? What would be an enjoyable and different gift for my ten year old grandson?

Chances are that this Christmas you need to buy a gift for a child. For many people this is a daunting prospect. You may not have children of your own. You might have children of different ages or genders or it may just be a long time since your own kids left the nest.

Where to start in an ever more complicated toy market? The easy-opt out is to give money or gift vouchers, but that’s a poor answer. There is little in the world which compares to seeing the joy on a child’s face as they open an exiting new discovery on Christmas Day and start to imagine the new experiences that it will bring.

So how do you find the right gift? Major chains of toy retailers are little help. If you can track down a member of staff, then the chances are they have no personal experience of the toy in question and can give you very little input into its suitability.

That’s where your small independent toy store comes into its own. Despite the erosion in the number of these outlets in recent years, you’ll still find one in most towns. So why can they provide that inspiration?

Well, for a start, the people who work there know their products. Chances are they made the decision to stock the product themselves. That process involves research and meeting face to face with the people who supply them. They’ve handled the toy themselves; know what it does and who it’s right for.

Their small size means that they generally receive better direct feedback from customers and are better placed to make informed recommendations. They have better knowledge of how gifts go down. For instance does a toy sell well only because it’s well marketed, or does it sell well because children use it and come back again and again for more items from the same line?

The surprising thing to learn as well is that they probably aren’t as motivated by profit as the major chains are. Why? Well it’s simple. They want you back at birthday time, they want you back next Christmas, and so on. How do they achieve that? Only if the customer themselves gets good feedback from the child in question. As a result they go out of their way to make the best job of recommendation they possibly can. They can’t afford to sell you the wrong thing for the sake of a few pennies.

Need something unusual? The child has “everything”. Independent toy stores often can’t compete on the major brands. They need to think outside the box to survive. If you need something that’s different and inspiring then there is a fair bet they can come up with the very present your looking for.

Get the right presents this year by getting advice from someone who knows what they’re talking about. Visit your local independent toy retailer.